• Robyn Isman, LICSW

Happy (uncomfortable) Monday!

I wanted to take a moment and tie together my posts from last week. I spoke about resilience, identifying emotions, emotional regulation, and avoidance. To some it might seem like these are all their own topic, but to me they are one big puzzle piece. It all starts when we have our iceberg emotion, then we dive deeper into what is under that iceberg tip. We allow ourselves to be curious and compassionate with ourselves to identify and accept each and every pleasant and unpleasant emotions.

This is the kindest form of self care in my opinion. Once we have this awareness, we move on to regulating the unpleasant emotion. We do immediate regulation actions and plan for more long term regulation. As we begin to feel more regulated, we can begin to conquer whatever it is that triggered the unpleasant emotion. Is there a big project at work? Did you have a fight with your spouse? Is your toddler driving you insane with the whining?

No we can't make these things go away, but there is so much power in regulating. When we feel calmer and bring our heart rate to a steady pace and our body temp to a nice cool spot we have a clearer mind. That clearer mind my friends is the root of resilience. To be resilient is to survive the hard times and possible even end up better on the other side.

When you take all of this and tie it together it shows clear evidence on why avoidance is not our friend. Avoidance is like life's snooze button. Sure those blankets feel warm and for those 8 minute (the amount on my snooze alarm) it is the best feeling in the world, BUT then I am RUSHED. The rest of the morning feels chaotic. This is why embracing the discomfort can ultimately lead us to more comfort. I know it is always logical or rational.

When I talk about this in sessions with clients I get a lot of eye rolls and annoying glances at first, but I also get a lot of aha moments that linger way beyond that session ending time.

Thanks for joining me on this uncomfortable journey. I am currently sitting in the discomfort and not enjoying it, but appreciating it for what it will ultimately bring. Happy (uncomfortable) Monday!

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